Pencil Insanity
by Moon Gazer
Summary: What you get when you take an Author, five boys, sharpened pencils and a boring evening.


We open the scene with the Author-  
  
Moon Gazer: Hi!  
  
-and the rest of the Gundam boys-  
  
Boys: Hello.  
  
-sitting, extremely bored in an extremely boring looking room. In fact, the room is so boring that Heero has been shooting at the walls because he is so annoyed with them for looking so boring.  
  
:::BANG:::  
  
MG: Will somebody please take that thing away from him?  
  
Duo: You're the one who wrote it in that he had a gun.  
  
MG: Yeah, but he's supposed to shoot Relena with it, not the wall. This scene isn't even finished yet!  
  
Wufei: So why don't you finish it?  
  
MG: :::teary puppy dog eyes::: MY PENCIL BROKE!!! WWAAHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: :::turns the gun towards MG:::  
  
MG: :::quickly recovers and erases Heero's gun from the story::: That'll teach you meanie!  
  
Heero: Hn. Just wait.  
  
MG: Ha! He spoke! He spoke! I made Heero talk, I made Heero talk! Nananananana!!!  
  
Everyone else: :::sweatdrop:::  
  
Trowa: Why don't we find something to talk about?  
  
MG: Hey look! I made Trowa talk to!!! Behold the power of the pen!  
  
Quatre: Aren't you using a pencil?  
  
Duo: And isn't it broken?  
  
MG: Oh yeah….  
  
Quatre: So, doesn't that mean that you didn't make us do anything and we're doing this of our own free will?  
  
Wufei: And that you have no power over us? :::in a bad imitation from Labrynth::: You have no power over me?  
  
MG: AAAHHHH!!!!!! Scary young David Bowie!!!!!!!! Run!!!!!!  
  
Quatre: But I thought you liked that movie?  
  
MG: I do, but that make ups just scary!  
  
Heero: Baka.  
  
Duo: How 'bout we play a game or something?  
  
MG: OOOO!! OOO!! I know! I know!  
  
Wufei: Oh yippy skippy….  
  
MG: Hush you! :::throw her pencil at him. It hits him on the head and he falls to the floor twitching::: Now, I'm gonna say a word, and I want you guys to say the first thing that comes to mind. Gay.  
  
Heero: The state of being happy.  
  
Quatre: ::: quietly::: Uh…joyous?  
  
Trowa: The act of being happy ::: stares at Quatre with his visible eye:::  
  
Duo: Wufei!  
  
MG: Ok…uh…queer.  
  
Heero: Unusual.  
  
Trowa: Odd.  
  
Quatre: Hobbits. ::: blushes as everyone turns to look at him::: What?  
  
Trowa: I think you've been reading too much fanfiction, love.  
  
Duo: Wufei!  
  
MG: Faggot.  
  
Quatre: Rude.  
  
Trowa: Ditto.  
  
Heero: A piece of wood.  
  
Duo: WUFEI!!!  
  
:::Wufei, who has been busily twitching on the floor for reasons known only to the author and her broken pen…cil…springs up…er…that is, he arises….um…well, no that's not quite right…he is….instantaneously aroused….no, no, no, that's not right either! Oh bother! He suddenly jumps up:::  
  
Wufei: You're gonna pay, Maxwell!!! :::starts to chase after poor Duo who instantly springs up….arises from…pointedly inclines….ARG!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!! …dashes off of the sofa and starts to run:::  
  
MG: ::: watches them for a minute before going back and erasing the bit about Wufei being aroused….er…awakened. He promptly falls back down and starts twitching again:::  
  
Trowa: I think we've played for long enough. Why don't you just erases the bit about the room and we can all get out of here?  
  
MG: Oh yeah! Why didn't I think of that? ::: jumps up…::: What? You didn't think I was gonna go through that whole thing all over again, did you?….::: and erases the room away before bounding out, followed by the boys dragging out Wufei.:::  
  
  
  
-The Scene -  
  
Wufei: Why did you capitalize the word "scene"?  
  
MG: I wanted to emphisize it. It's a stage thing.  
  
Wufei: Since when?  
  
MG: :::irritated::: Since now.  
  
Wufei: Says who?  
  
MG: :::holding up her newly sharpened pencil::: Says me. And now cause of you, I've gotta revamp this whole thing cause they weren't supposed to know that my pencil was resharpened!  
  
Wufei: Or about the spare that you're carrying?  
  
MG: AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOO!!!!!!!!! You did it again!!!!!!!! WWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Quatre: :::sweatdrops and gently removes one of the pencils from MG's grasp before erasing the part where Wufei spoils the surprise::: There, how's that?  
  
MG: :::sniffs::: It's smudgy.  
  
Heero: :::grabs the back of Wufei's shirt and wipes off the smudge::: There. Is that better?  
  
MG: Yes! Thank you!  
  
Wufei: There's a smudge on my shirt now!!!  
  
MG: Now, where were we?  
  
-reopens with Moon Gazer charging back into the room, boys in tow.-  
  
MG: We're back!  
  
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!! There's a smudge on my shirt!!!!  
  
-At this moment, Enjeru K. who has been in the next room over, trying to redo her room with purple curtains festooned with little lemons comes charging in-  
  
EK: Will you stop yelling! I nearly put a nail through my finger!  
  
Wufei: But she-  
  
EK: ::: glares:::  
  
Wufei: She…  
  
EK: :::glares some more and places her hands on her hips:::  
  
Wufei: ::: sits down and sulks:::  
  
EK: Much better. ::: goes back to what she was doing:::  
  
MG: Well, now that that's done and I'm prepared ::: holds up her TWO new, freshly sharpened pencils:::, let's get this scene written.  
  
MG and the Gboyz are sitting comfortably in the den when all of a sudden the peaceful silence that ensued because the author was too busy writing this description to add in a dialogue…is broken.-  
  
Relena: HEERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Wufei: K'SO!!!!  
  
Heero: Hey! That's my word!  
  
-Relena comes charging dramatically into the room and prepares to launch herself at Heero. Heero, acting on all 15 years of soldiering experience, pulls out his gun-  
  
Heero: ::: does nothing:::  
  
MG: Ahem!  
  
-pulls out his gun-  
  
Heero: :::Still does nothing:::  
  
MG: Just WHAT are you doing?  
  
Heero: You erased my gun.  
  
MG: I what?  
  
Heero: You wrote and I quote "MG: :::quickly recovers and erases Heero's gun from the story:::" Meaning I don't have a gun. How am I supposed to shoot her if I don't have a gun?  
  
MG: ::: grumbles and goes back to erase the part where she erased Heero's gun::: There. Happy?  
  
Heero: Yes.  
  
-pulls out his gun and shoots Relena. However, the shot misses-  
  
Heero: WHAT!  
  
MG: Sorry…the pencil tip snapped. ^^* Lemme go fix that.  
  
-However, the shot misses but then Quatre, realizing from the aching dread in his Spaceheart that the shot was going to go astray and that the Author would refuse to change that sentence, threw a blanket over Relena's head. Then Duo, also realizing that the Author would not allow he and Heero to hook up until he'd done something to Relena, shoved her out the window.-  
  
Relena: Hey! That's not how the script goes!  
  
MG: Script? What script? Oh! THIS script! ::: holds up the piece of paper she's been writing on.::: Well let's see…now Dororthy has to catch you…::: SNAP!::: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Trowa: If your pencils are broken and Relena isn't going to be caught by Dororthy…doesn't that mean she's going to fall from the third floor of this house to a horribly disfiguring death?  
  
::: Relena suddenly finds herself being hoisted through the air and thrown out a window:::  
  
Relena: AHHhhhhhhhh :::THUD:::  
  
MG: ::: sniffs::: Thanks guys. You always do know how to make me feel better.  
  
The Scene Continued  
  
Wufei: You told me why you capitalized "Scene", but is it really necessary to capitalize "Continued"?  
MG: Need you be so anal?  
Wufei: * grumbles *  
MG: Anyways…  
- Relena had fallen out the window, apparently on her way to a most disgusting and disfiguring death that would have hiked up the rating of this fic to an outrageous level when suddenly a hideous gold colored car zoomed up.-  
Dorothy: I'm here, Relena my love!  
-Dorothy smoothly catches the object of her affections( well, next to her eyebrow gel) and tosses her into the back of the car.-  
Dorothy: Now we'll be together forever and you shall live on strawberry's and crème and we shall make passio-  
MG: AHEM!!!!  
Dorothy: :::Looks up::: What?  
MG: Didn't you hear a word I said about trying not to hike up the rating? Geeze! I mean, I already had to hike it up to a PG just to let you in.  
Dorothy: Well so-rry! Hey! What was that supposed to mean?  
MG: Never mind! Will you just get her out of here so I can continue writing?  
Dorothy: What, with that pretty green gel pen?  
MG: AHHH!!!!!!!! You weren't supposed to tell!!!!  
Trowa: :::walks up holding three freshly sharpened pencil::: Hey MG, are these yours?  
MG: ::: breaks down sobbing::: No-ones's -supposed-to-know…about…those!!!! I was gonna come up with a great punchline or something…WAHHHH!!!!!!!  
Heero: :::with forced patience::: Well, then why don't you just go back and erase that like you've been doing?  
MG: :::sniff::: I can't. It's in pen.  
Duo: Here, I've got an idea. ::: takes the paper, rips it off at the point where Dorothy screwed it up…:::  
Dorothy: I did not!  
Heero: :::calmly holds his gun to her head::::  
Dorothy: Shutting up now.  
Duo: :::taking the ripped off half of the paper, he proceeds to put it through a paper shredder. ::: There, is that better?  
MG: :::nods::: Yup!  
-Dorothy, in an entirely PG manner, whisks Relena away to their castle in the sky, where they both promptly faint from lack of air.-  
Quatre: So now what do we do?  
-At this moment, Enjeru K. makes her return to the scene, in an entirely too cheerful manner.-  
Enjeru K: Hullo!  
MG: Finish hanging your curtains?  
Enjeru K: Actually, yes, despite all the ranting:::gives Wufei a pointed glare:::  
Wufei: :::mutters::: Stupid onnas.  
Enjeru K: I was planning on painting the walls next. Now if only I could find some strong, willing bodies who have nothing else to do that could help me…  
-At this point, the boys give each other a look and simultaneously begin to creep towards the door.-  
MG: Wait a minute…did I write in a door yet?  
-The boys stop, realizing that she hasn't.-  
MG: Well, I suppose I could. :::begins to write in a door, when the pen runs out of ink.::: Oh bother. That's the problem with these gel pens. They always run out so quickly. :::picks up a pencil::: Now, where was I? Ah yes…hmm…oak, I think…circular…*SNAP!* Dang it! ::: pulls out her next pencil::: purple…a window? Maybe…and * SNAP! * Geeze! They just don't make pencils like they used to! :::picks up her last pencil, but before she can even begin to write, it slips from her grasp and falls to the floor. The boys wait anxiously as she picks it up and examines the tip.:::  
Well, whaddya know? Broken. Guess we're stuck for a while :::evil grin::: Oh Enjeru? I think I know just the group of boys to help…  
-The boys trudged off to the next room, which had somehow appeared, and picked up their paint brushes-  
Quatre: :::whispers::: Do you think she did that on purpose?  
The other boys: :::glare:::  
  
  
Scene Three  
  
-We open the new scene with the Author sitting comfortably while the boys look out the window that Relena has just flown out of (this being after she escaped Dorothy's clutches and returned to the room, much to the dismay of the boys. Luckily, MG had a back up pencil stub for just such an emergency and sent the blond horror right back out the window.)-  
  
Duo: That is just disgusting.  
  
Heero: Yeah.  
  
Trowa: @_\\  
  
MG: ::: looks up::: What's disgusting?  
Quatre: You never cleaned up the pile of splatted Relena goop after you threw her out the window again.  
  
MG: Oh, don't worry, that's under control.  
  
-Whilst in the middle of being thoroughly disgusted at the splattered Relena, the boys became aware of the sounds of a car drawing near. They look up to see a hideously( and now familiar) gold car zooming up, which stops right in front of the pile of goop…-  
  
MG: Well, that won't work.  
  
Wufei: What won't work?  
  
MG: Well, Dorothy is supposed to hop out of the car, sweep Relena off her feet while doing a really bad Pepe le Peu imitation, and carry her off to live off strawberries and cream for the rest of her not so natural life. But at the moment, she'll literally have to sweep her up…and probably carry her off in a bucket…  
  
Trowa: ::: turns green and runs for a bathroom:::  
  
MG: ::: Swiftly writes in said bathroom with her handy dandy pencil.:::  
  
Wufei: Don't forget to mention your two extra pencils and fluffy pen. And that quill. And your back up word processor.   
  
MG: ::: breaks down sobbing::: THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW!! YOU RUINED MY SURPRISE AND NOW IT'S ALL GONNA BE RUINED AND I'LL HAVE TO REWRITE IT AND I'LL NEVER BE A BIG TIME AUTHOR AND I'LL NEVER GET A SCHOLARSHIP AND THEN MY CHILDREN WON'T EVER LIVE THE GOOD LIFE AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU GAVE AWAY THE PLOT SURPRISE AND…  
  
Wufei: ONNA!!!!!!  
MG: ::: pauses, midbreath::: Yes?  
  
Wufei: ::: stands for a moment before sweat dropping and falling down twitching.:::  
  
Quatre: Why don't you just erase him giving away the surprise and fix up Relena? I think Trowa would appreciate it.  
  
MG: ::: shrugs::: O.K.  
  
-And as if by magic, just as the gold car zoomed up and Dorothy Catalonia( who was totally oblivious to the fact that Relena was trying to escape) jumped out, the icky oozing, nasty, multi colored, stinky, sticky…  
  
Quatre: MG!!!  
  
::: several unpleasant sounds from the bathroom echo Quatre's sentiments:::  
  
MG: ::: grins sheepishly::: Um…oops?  
  
-pile of goo rematerialized as Relena Peacecraft-  
  
Heero: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Duo: SHE'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
-and while Duo and Heero cower together under the Authors chair, Dorothy swept Relena off her feet and carried her off into the car.-  
  
Dorothy: Come my darling! You, I and my pointy brows shall live together forever eating strawberrys and cream for the rest of our unnatural lives!  
  
Quatre: Unnatural lives?  
  
MG: What? You expect life with Dorothy to be normal?  
  
-And the car zooms off into the sunset-  
  
Wufei: Won't that melt the car?  
  
MG: Not literally! It's a figure of speech! Geeze, you have no sense of art!  
  
Wufei: Hmph.  
  
MG: Besides, aren't you supposed to be twitching?  
  
Wufei: ::: rolls his eyes and begins twitching again::: The things I do to keep you quiet.  
  
MG: ::: smiles::: ^_^. I know.  
  
-while the Author and the boys cheer wildly.-  
  
Quatre, Trowa, Heero, and Duo: YAY!  
  
MG: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Wufei: ::: twitch::: yay::: twitch::::  
  
-End scene-  
  
Wufei: Shouldn't that be capitalized?  
  
MG: Oops! ^_^*  
  
-End Scene- 


End file.
